He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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