Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
