He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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