all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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