I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
