Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
