Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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