I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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