What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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