Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Found the puke drawer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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