I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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