hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
