You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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