Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
