Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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