She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
