I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
