I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
