a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize