This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
