He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
