Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize