A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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