he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
