glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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