Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
