I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
How's work?
Spinning.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
