So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think i have two assholes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
