It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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