the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not