dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.