Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
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Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?