oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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