We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
