Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
