He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
