Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
