Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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