we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
