if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
