I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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