Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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