i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
