She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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