Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
