just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
