Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i've created a new STD.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
