It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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