if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize