I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
