I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
