don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
