We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
