just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
smell my finger.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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