Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
