the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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