I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
