So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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