i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
