Are we in a gay sports bar?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How does one acquire holy water?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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