i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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