if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize