He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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