is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
