BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
