sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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