I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
