just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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