whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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