I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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